It's Kinda Sweet That You Thought I'd Remember or Why Not You Weren't Bad Enough To Remember

Hey remember me? No, no I don't and actually I don't even care if I should. What's that? Oh, you're gonna tell me anyway. We had sex? Great would you like to join the club, support group, or a currently have a stalker position available, I'm taking applications.... Oh, you want me to remember. This is just as interesting as watching a dog lick itself. Doesn't do anything for me. Wow that's nice, I should start numbering you people or putting tacks in a map. You're on OkCupid too big surprise. The beer you've bought me isn't empty yet so I'm still listening. Yeah that's right, now you're buying me a shot. Throw in a burrito and I'll write your name on my hand so I can use your name when I leave in the morning.

Banana Fuck Bullshit or You Want To Take What Home?

When it comes to fantasies, don't ask strangers because they will tell you, add beer and they become hopeful. I'm not saying my necrophilia fantasies don't make people uncomfortable but fuck I don't tell anyone with a spare minute and condoms in his glove box.
My favorite though and by far the most commonly requested act involves things they can take with them after. Ask a man how long fingers and screwdrivers smell like pussy?

Sex For Drugs or Where I Draw The Line

I don't even like drugs, so yeah having sex for them seems a little wasteful. Besides I'm sure there's plenty of girls out there with very interesting drug addictions, and like tea or vegetables let those people have their fun with their...things.
But, a slice pizza and a half dozen tall cans and I wanna meet your mom so you'll have to marry me. Sex on the first date it depends on how exposed the parking lot is during happy hour. I don't want anyone's mom catching me.

The Reasons For Rules or I Put On Make-up For This?

Do I have sex on the first date, kiss. Car, job, kids...gotta draw some lines, make some gray area, rules are fun to break so why not make my own?
I actually a few that I don't regularly disregard...what are they, it seems I've forgotten. Demand entertainment, demand alcohol, keep the financial burden on him. I mean there are no real deal breakers except no recovering alcoholics or heavy drug users and ugly, uninteresting, short people. I said people, haven't had an OkC girl date but as long as they fit into the parameters, I would. And I'm not so superficial that the ugly, tiny man can't get something provided he knows he's got some short comings to compensate for. Like the ugly and or fat chicks must give good head rule, men dating girls out of their league, they must make up for that shit. Sorry I'm not an indescriminating sex favor gumball machine. Maybe I'm like that claw machine that everyone has a strategy for, but no one really wins at.
But my favorite way that they circumvent the rules is spontaneity. Don't give me time to think and I'll say yes to anything. Yes to anything if you catch me with make up on. No make up no deal. If I happen you have some strange reason to get out of bed I will be sitting waiting for something, anything to do to make the layers of black shadow worth it. It takes a special (rich, tall, tattooed) stud to get me to break out my make up after six o'clock. But hey that's just me.