Godzilla or GODZIRRA

Godzilla or Godzirra!

He was cuter in his profile pictures. He was bad with a shaved head, did nothing for his features.
But as always I'm determined to have a good time, less than attractive guy or not. It's not I went on this date with romantic intentions.
I start with a couple vodka 7's. I feel nothing and I can't drink faster. Were at Chopsticks and I decide that out of boredom I'll torn up the charm and pull out all the "I'm a super awesome, fun, silly, cute lady" stops. I sing. It's rare but when I do it's ACDC's Dirty Deeds. People find it impresSive and guys easily fall in love with me, so this was the icing on the cake.
Then Godzilla. I was playful and silly, we drank and I kept making a hand Godzilla and whispering GODZIRRA! We shared candy and finished off a pitcher of beer. Then I got bored and left.
He calls now. Not a lot. But he must be so confused.  Better to have loved and lost...right. Poor guy.

Cover Me With Frosting 'Cause I Never or

"Have you ever or I never" have you played that game? So it's a drinking game and someone shares an experience they've had, and you either confirm with an "I never" or if you have you take a drink.  The person asking gets to pick either to say something especially dirty/sexy or take a drink. As a pretty vanilla girl I usually opt for drinking on my turn. Though maybe I'm not as vanilla as think 'cause I usually end up drunk. I really wasn't to play the silly drinking games, bring back spin the bottle give me seven minutes in heaven with giggling exploration. Let us not be content with people looking over the parts of our body that aren't their prefect size or shape. In some ways drinking can make things more fun less weird. But that's only temporary. I miss the fumbling and when they almost think they are in love with me the second they touch me or see nipple. There was more reverence. These games were our courage. So wait do I want drinking games or not. Do I want sober fumbling? Realistically in the back set of a car we're all transported to childhood. But I want both. I don't want to have my cake and eat it to. What I really want is someone to lick all of the frosting off of me on a dare.

Maybe I Should Lie To Strangers or Pretending To Have Herpes To Protect My Precious Abstinence

I like dating. I want to date. To drink and have some flirty fun, but sex. No. It's become a vegetable. Green, dirty, and probably good for me. I don't want it. I don't need it like I used to. Men don't get though. Not the ones I meet anyway. They're all hands and hard ons. What do I tell them, how do I get them to understand. Sometimes the truth isn't good enough or strong enough so what do you add, how do you hold it up, make it stronger. Can a lie be more honest than the truth. Shit. I'm just gonna tell them that I have an incurable STD. Sorry hot stuff, I have to tell you something....and I know I'm on the verge of a break out. Maybe that will work. Now to cure their desire for those silly blow jobs. Too much work. Look it's even call work....

It's Kinda Sweet That You Thought I'd Remember or Why Not You Weren't Bad Enough To Remember

Hey remember me? No, no I don't and actually I don't even care if I should. What's that? Oh, you're gonna tell me anyway. We had sex? Great would you like to join the club, support group, or a currently have a stalker position available, I'm taking applications.... Oh, you want me to remember. This is just as interesting as watching a dog lick itself. Doesn't do anything for me. Wow that's nice, I should start numbering you people or putting tacks in a map. You're on OkCupid too big surprise. The beer you've bought me isn't empty yet so I'm still listening. Yeah that's right, now you're buying me a shot. Throw in a burrito and I'll write your name on my hand so I can use your name when I leave in the morning.

Banana Fuck Bullshit or You Want To Take What Home?

When it comes to fantasies, don't ask strangers because they will tell you, add beer and they become hopeful. I'm not saying my necrophilia fantasies don't make people uncomfortable but fuck I don't tell anyone with a spare minute and condoms in his glove box.
My favorite though and by far the most commonly requested act involves things they can take with them after. Ask a man how long fingers and screwdrivers smell like pussy?

Sex For Drugs or Where I Draw The Line

I don't even like drugs, so yeah having sex for them seems a little wasteful. Besides I'm sure there's plenty of girls out there with very interesting drug addictions, and like tea or vegetables let those people have their fun with their...things.
But, a slice pizza and a half dozen tall cans and I wanna meet your mom so you'll have to marry me. Sex on the first date it depends on how exposed the parking lot is during happy hour. I don't want anyone's mom catching me.